Friday, July 30, 2010

WHY GIRLS DONT MARRY SOFTWARE ENGINEERS ??????

Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.

Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.

Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.

Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.

Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.

Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.

Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.

Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.

Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log in again

COMPUTERS MAN or WOMEN

Computers are Like Women Because...




No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.


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The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.


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Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.


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As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.


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You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.


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.
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.
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Computers are Like Men Because...





They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the
problem.


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They have a lot of data but are still clueless.


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As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little
longer you could have had a better model.


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They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

SOME JOKES

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6-foot tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."